How about this as a disclaimer on all of my reviews from here on out:
Disclaimer: I hope you enjoyed my review, whether it was positive or negative. In the interest of transparency, you should know that I am not actually an owl, in spite of fact that my avatar (usually) shows a picture of one. Also, I frequently read during the day, and under conditions that include various sorts of incandescent and fluorescent lighting.
Warning: I write reviews for fun. I claim no special expertise in books or reviewing, and this review is not intended to represent the opinion of anyone other than myself. Should my review infuriate, or otherwise inflame your passions, I find that chocolate usually helps. If you decide to stalk me, I will help you out. I live on an acre in rural Oregon, I have dogs, and myself and most of my neighbors are armed. With guns. Because, you know, redneck Americans. Creeping around in my neighborhood is like to get you shot. Thanks!